Gertrude Autobiography

For the Well-Being of Denmark

There is no uncertainty over the grief I feel for the death of my beloved husband – the cherished guardian of Denmark – great King Hamlet. I doubt that there exists on this earth, a soul resistant to the pain of losing a loved one, especially after four decades of devotion and interdependence. In the weeks following his death, I have wept more than I have in the entirety of my life. I do so however, in secrecy; each day I withdraw to the confines of my dark chamber, in an attempt to find peace within myself – if only for an hour. I must appear resilient on the exterior, as I do not want my actions to affect the fragile soul of my son. He appears to be in much greater pain than I, over his father’s passing. My recollection of the days of my husband’s courtship has grown stronger as a result of this mysterious tragedy; I suppose one searches their past to find answers for the unexplainable events they encounter in the present.

My father, being duke of the northern territory [which borders our enemies], and my mother, being the daughter of a wealthy nobleman and patron to the royal family, yielded me exclusive access to Elsinore. My parents were often called upon by the king to discuss issues of diplomacy and finance, and usually brought me along to interact with the king’s two sons. My first visit of this sort was at the age of fourteen – Hamlet was nineteen, and Claudius was sixteen. I admit without shame that I was initially drawn toward Claudius, who I found to be the more attractive of the two princes. Alas, I was oblivious to the fact that my parents were discussing more than just politics with the King. Two short years after my first visit to Elsinore, I married Hamlet as part of an arrangement intended to uphold the traditions of the kingdom. I was hurled into the public’s eye after an elaborate wedding ceremony, which drew a crowd numbered in the thousands, from all over Europe. Adapting to the publicity was no where near as daunting a task as having to confront my insecurities over the durability of my marriage. Nonetheless, I sought to become the most supportive wife I could be. In the early years of my marriage to Hamlet, I closely observed his habits in search of ways to appease him. He was always by his father’s side, offering his advice on primarily domestic issues. It became apparent to me that Hamlet was devoted to one cause: the well-being of his people. From that realization, my love for him emerged. He was ready when it inevitably came time for him to rule, and the noble people of Denmark embraced their new king and queen.

From what I have revealed thus far, it may have become apparent as to why I have remarried so soon after my husband’s death, and of all people, to his brother. As much as it pains me to be under my son’s contempt – which I highly suspect I am – a kingdom needs a king, and a son needs the love of a father. In Claudius, I see many favorable attributes that Hamlet possessed, and therefor he is a suitable role model for young Hamlet. Being so close in kin to King Hamlet as well, I am confident that the people’s morale will be restored as they renew their faith into the ever capable King Claudius. It would be dishonest of me to say that I have no personal needs that my new marriage attends to; I have longed for the experience of finding love on my own. Though I deeply bestowed my affection to King Hamlet, there exists within me, resentment toward my parents for arranging any aspect of my life. However, I am hesitant to move toward an intimate relationship with Claudius, for it would result in the attention I shed onto my son to be displaced. In doing so, I fear I would forever crush his spirit – I am not capable of living with such guilt. I hope for Ophelia to marry my son, so that she may look after him, and give him the love that I struggle to provide – the love that he deserves. She reminds me very much of me at her age. Long after Claudius and I are gone from this earth, hopefully reunited with our adorned King Hamlet, I want there to remain a stable Denmark whose people embrace their king and queen. When that day comes, my son will be ready to lead as earnestly as his father and uncle. Truly, the well-being of those around us is what matters most.